In Communication, Listen for Intent

Keeping relationships flowing in a positive way can be daunting. They can be slippery at best when we try to maneuver around intricacies of daily life. We are human don't you know and no matter how hard we try to stay focused on the message the other person is sending us, we can easily be diverted to our history. How our parents and those significant others in our life managed their relationships affect us unconsciously. So we think we have this covered, sometimes operating in the "opposite" way our parents did, only to get tangled in the complexities of communication. Then the "he said, she said" cycle begins and we forget what the original message was in the first place.

How do we get around such communication glitches? Simple, listen to the other person when he/she speaks. I know, you did hear them the first time, right? Could it be that you were listening for words, not intent. This time listen for intent...for what might be the inner or core of the message. This is harder to do, and I admit it is definitely a higher level of listening, but so worth it in the long run. When you listen to the message, especially when it is heated, what is driving the message? What is behind the message in the first place? Key into this and the message is much easier to respond to without things getting out of hand.